Oh man, this is the perfect time to bring this out and use this. It's kinda long and I did
not write it, though I find it hilarious. Enjoy. :biggrin:
Now YOU Can Understand Women, too!!
fact: women are mammals.
fact: women fight all the time for no reason.
fact: the purpose of a woman is to flip out and kill people.
fact: some of them are so hot that steam is coming out of their mouth or hair.
1) Women love to chop. because they are the fiercest of all creatures, they will chop anything they can get. chop. chop. chop.
2) Women especially love a bargain. like when a woman sees another chick wearing a sweater she wants, she kicks her [butt] after flipping out. this way she gets a free shirt. *sweet guitar riffs play in background*
3) Women "never" have anything to wear. usually they only wear black, or other solid colors, like white.
4) Women need to cry. this is so when you're not looking they can fling ninja stars strategically and so fast that you don't notice them saving your life. that is if they aren't going to kill you.
5) Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to prove whether or not you are a pirate. women hate pirates.
6) Women love to talk. Silence doesn't intimidate them persay, but if they go too long without talking they will have to resort to other time-filling activities like stabbing and flying.
7) Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. that's why they kick so many posteriors.
Women don't need to drink as often as men do. They do however, need guitars so that they can wail on them.
9) Women pretend to hate bugs. this is so they can lure men into killing the bugs for them, so that they may get the sadistic pleasure of watching them do it the hard way. women would normally just kill the bugs instantly with their lasers. all women have lasers.
10) Women can't keep secrets. They only kill.
11) Women always go to public restrooms in groups. This is just in case there
is a gang of pirates or dogs. the group of women could kick the pirate's and/or
dog's butts no problem.
12) Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing.
It might be a fellow ninj--er---woman calling.
13) Women never understand why men love toys. the only toys women need are
ninja stars and sweet guitars.
14) Women think all blood is the same.
15) Women keep three different shampoos in the shower. one will make her fly, one is to help her master sticking to walls, and one is for bioslime.
16) Women don't understand the appeal of sports unless fighting is a sport. one time, this one woman met a professional football player and he took her out to the movies. yeah right he was a real professional football player--he was a pirate. she smashed his head like a melon. then all of these dogs came out of nowhere and she killed them all by flying over them and frying them up with herlaser eyes.
17) If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip, she will pack 7 of the same outfit...and a sword. and a guitar...oh, and some ninja stars.
18) Women brush their hair before bed. this to create positive ions. which has nothing to do with anything.
19) Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be able to kick your butt.
20) Women are paid less than men, except for one field: fighting. usually there are smoke bombs.
21) Women are never wrong. And if you say they are they will charge after you and chop off your head, maybe even, with fire..
22) Women do not know much about cars, but they know enough to know that exploding them is sweet.
23) Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. this is because women have to rest their energies--man, flying and stabbing gets so tiring, but at least they dudes just get a large bowl to share. women thinkthis is tubular.
24) The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. and its probably better, because if they were to pick up the wrong item, it might begin to knock off his head and go beserk. that would be sweet though.
25) Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. what men don't realize is that cat's kill people too. they can also play guitar.
:laugh:
