Heres the first part (finally).
One day Spongebob and Patrick were watching the bubble bowl on television. Patrick had ordered a life-time supply of Buffalo Wings for the event. Spongebob was there, it was the North Atalantic Cod versus the South Pacific Angelfish. Spongebob wasn't really that into football, but used the bubble-bowl as an excuse to stay home and have fun all day. Patrick, on the other hand, was a diehard Angelfish fan, and they had not made a super-bowl in 84 years (because of the so-called CURSE OF CODINO) and the Cod were they're arch rivals. Patrick was angry because the Cod were already winning 14 to nothing in the first quarter.
"Come on Eeley! You know your better than Cal Cod by a long shot! Beat im' down!!"
"Patrick quit it! You don't want Squidward to yell at us again!" Spongebob warned.
"Oh sorry Spongebob. I'll be quite."
(Three seconds later The Cod's make a field goal from the other side of the field)
"OH COME ON! THIS GAME IS RIGGED IT TELL YOU! RIGGED! RIGGED! RRRRRRRRIIII......."
"PATRICK! WOULD YOU KEEP IT DOWN!" Squidward yelled "I'M TRYING TO BE BORING!"
"Oh sorry."
Then the commercial brake started.
"We'll be right back after the 15 minutes of commercials were gonna show while the teams get set." said the announcers.
"Aaah! Stupid commercials." Patrick whined "How come these companies even bother to put on commercials if no one even cares about them and it costs them a million bucks to put on one measly commercial! Anyway Spongebob I'm going down to the super-market to get more wings o.k."
"See ya Pat!" said Spongebob
Then Patrick left for the supermarket.
"Ah, lets see what else is on." said Spongebob.
Spongebob had flipped to OTV, the music video station. There he saw heavy metal icons playing the living heck out of there instruments. They banged heads and played hard. Spongebob was amazed.
"Wow!" said Spongebob "I wish I could be like those guys!"
(Pictures of Johnny Rotten and Pete Townshend on TV screen)
Spongebob had not realized that he had been watching for 15 minutes. Patrick walked into the room.
"Hey Spongebob I paid the rest of what’s left of the money from your parents will for the lifetime supply of wings and... OH MY GOD! Spongebob, why are you watching OTV!"
"Watching the rock stars!" answered Spongebob "I want to be a rock star!"
Patrick's eyes widened
"Spongebob! You can't be a rock star, rock stars are weird! They paint their faces and abuse their instruments and get drunk and date 5 girls at a time and there just weird Spongebob! Your too good-natured for that kind of thing!"
“Patrick, don’t generalize, I’m sure that there good hearted people in real life.”
“Actually Rock stars get heart-attacks all the time. And besides, you don’t even have a band.”
Then Spongebob said “Oh yeah, I guess your right. But I can join one!”
“Oh come on Spongebob. It’s not like some sort of super famous multi-platinum selling hard rock band is going to park there trailer right next to your house and look for a new member.”
Then the TV switched to the news with Realistic Fishead as anchorman.
“A super-famous multi-platinum selling hard rock band has parked there trailer next to that house shaped like a pineapple and is looking for a new member. I’m Realistic Fishead, and I am about to announce to the citizens of Bikini Bottom that the land-based human heavy metal group Kiss has come to Bikini Bottom to play at what would normally be a concert at the Krusty Krab, but it looks like there gig may go overboard. KISS has been entertaining rock fans everywhere since the early 70’s, with there anathematic music and very strange makeup, children found them irresistible, and parents found them intolerable, but they were famous anyway. Hit singles included “Rock N’ Roll All Nite”, “Rock N’ Roll All Nite”, the live version of “Rock N’ Roll All Nite” and various other songs not very well known. But now, they are just about ready to break up. When I asked bassist Gene Simmons for a comment he just stuck his tongue out at me and tried top shove it down my throat. However, guitarist Ace Freheley later said that if the band doesn’t get a new member, they will brake up after tomorrow nights concert at the Krusty Krab, so what are you waiting for, keep the band that has made themselves famous with dumb-fun music and crazy makeup together, THEY WERE MY FAVORITE BAND IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! Anyway, back to the normal programming.”
Spongebob’s mouth was wide open has if someone had put pliers between his lips.
“Patrick!…” He said, overwhelmingly happy “…I want to join…KISS!”
“I don’t think you should Spongebob,” Patrick warned “Kiss wear’s way too much makeup and sing about dumb topics and have lyrics so simple a 3 year old could understand them and…I LOVE THEM!”
“Yes!” Spongebob shouted
“I’ll do anything to make sure my best friend gets into the greatest rock band of all time! I’ll be your talent manager!”
“Thanks Pat,” said Spongebob “but wait, I thought you said that you didn’t like rock music.”
“What, of course I like rock Spongebob, you don’t think I’m one of those uneducated idiots that listens to classical do you?”
“Well what about what you said about rock stars being bad examples and stuff like that.”
“Wait? I said…OH! I know what that was, it was what my mom told me when I was watching OTV and wanted to be a rock star, anyway, can you play anything?”
“Well, I can play my nose okay.”
“Okay then let’s hear it. Try a Kiss song, since your going to be joining them soon.”
Spongebob put his fingers on his nose and began to play “Rock N’ Roll All Nite.” Patrick was astounded.
“That…was…the best musicianship I have ever heard!” exclaimed Patrick “Spongebob, your gonna do it, Kiss is definitely going to hire you!” He turned around “Now all we’ve gotta do is get ourselves into proper clothing.”
“What?” Spongebob said shocked
“Spongebob, do you think Kiss is going to let you into the band with out the makeup and long hair and jumpsuits?” Patrick asked
“No.” answered Spongebob
“That’s exactly why. Don’t worry, I know a place were they’ll help you look like that.”
(Second Scene: Spongebob Walks Out Of ‘Bob’s Vintage Junk Shop’)
Spongebob just got out of the jump shop with his makeup and wig and jumpsuit. He was dressed and ready. He walked down the road and waved to a few people.
“Metalhead.” they whispered behind his back.
Spongebob met up with Patrick near were Kiss’s trailer was parked. Patrick had a suit on that looked very tight, almost as if…It was drawn on him.
“Okay Spongebob, Kiss is in that trailer, it’s up to you to keep them from braking up and so you can become a rock star.” Patrick encouraged Spongebob
“Thanks Pat.” Spongebob replied, they walked up the stairs into the trailer. “Hey Pat, where’d you get that suit.”
They opened the door.
“The tattoo parlor.”
What do you think?
