Knuckles stood on the stage, in front of an audience of thousands. He never thought he would live to see his dream come true. Well, actually, he didn’t, but he never thought he would live to see this particular thing that sounded sort of nifty come true. To perform on Broadway… He quickly scanned the cue card, which was cleverly hidden behind a pane of glass, and recited his lines.
“So it must be, Monteroy,” he declared somberly, drawing his fencing saber with a flourish. “You have spoken against me and mine, and now the day of reckoning has come. We must fence with swords, to end this bloody and terrible conflict that has raged between our families for so long!” He made an elegant gesture with his sword. All the theater critics were enraptured and tearful. Knuckles snuck a sidelong glance at the actor playing Monteroy.
“I accept your challenge, Lord Pendleton,” vowed Monteroy wrathfully. “I will fight until the background scenery itself turns red with blood. My sword will sing for the rights of my family! You will oppress us no more!” Everyone ooh-ed.
Knuckles came in with the first strike, but Monteroy blocked it with lightning speed, scoring a thick gash on Knuckles’ waist. It wasn’t real, obviously, but… anyway, they battled back and forth. Toward the end, both were on the edge of death. With a vicious cry, Monteroy drove the sword into Knuckles’ chest.
The music trailed off. Everyone gasped. Knuckles began to deliver his final speech.
“Forsooth, for I had not anticipated the day I might fall by a Monteroy sword,” he cried woefully. “But as I lay dying, shamed eternally, something happened I could not have known…”And the doors of the theater burst open. In dashed a beautiful woman, her dress trailing behind her. She ran onto the stage and enveloped Knuckles in a warm embrace. Everyone in the theater fell silent, breathlessly waiting for what would come next. And in the deep silence, Knuckles said one word…
“Mom?” he muttered.
“I forgot to give my boy his good-luck hug,” she explained to the stupefied theatergoers. “This is just the dress rehearsal, right?”
And as everyone laughed twice as much as they had during the last three comedies of the season, Knuckles vowed that he would never forgive his mother.
