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Author Topic: Where Did God Come From?  (Read 53255 times)

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Offline AppleNick

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #45 on: December 20, 2004, 12:30:14 pm »
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Faith is the ultimate Catch 22. I'm starting my own religion. Yolta, the giant chicken being from the twelfth dimension has spoken through me to write these basic tenets of the Yoltarian faith.

1. Yolta has always and will always exist.
2. You must worship Yolta, always, because Yolta chooses your past, your present, and your future.
3. You cannot doubt Yolta because you think you do not see her. She is everything that is around you. You do not need proof. Yolta tells you, therefore you believe. Proof is for the blind of faith.
4. Those I speak through are the chosen ones. Never doubt thier word. They are merely vessels of my ultimate being. If you disagree with anything one of my vessels says, you will be labelled a heathen.
5. I invented the universe and created man. You cannot say I did not because you did not see the creation of the universe or the creation of man. Therefore, I am correct.
6. Yolta declares that all faiths other than Yoltarianism are heathen, and all those who worship false idols such as "God" and "Jesus" will face an eternity stuck in a Yolta's egg. All Yoltarians will face blissful eternity in the feather loft.

Im confused was that supose to be a joke?

Paige
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It's not a joke, its the truth.  Yolta said it, so it is absolute truth.  You are a heretic for not believing Yolta, who spoke through me.
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Is this some weird evil plan you've made up? :happy:

Edso, god didn't write the bible, someone else did.

Anyways, the bible says that god is eternal, so I will hide behind that excuse.
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Offline ssj4gogita4

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #46 on: December 20, 2004, 05:45:22 pm »
Nick...it was a joke
« Last Edit: December 20, 2004, 08:53:23 pm by ssj4gogita4 »
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Offline Thomas

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #47 on: December 22, 2004, 03:54:56 pm »
lol, that Yolta thing is great. I have a new religion now! :)
All hail the mighty....Mortos!

You will be sent to the place beneith the overworld if:
You hug puppies
You eat a balanced diet of non-cheesy objects and cheesy objects
You drink sodas in puppy stores
You rescue children from tooth decay by eating their candy
You back up your words with material proof
You watch 2 hours of TV a day (includes video games/PC's)
You listen to music Mortos tells you to

You will be condemed to the land of eternal screaming if:
You become friends with idiots
You beleive in anyone else other than Mortos and Yolta (they're friends :D )
You DON'T watch TV for 2 hours a day
You listen to your Maths teachers
You don't back up your words with material proof
Eat a balanced diet of cheesy goods and non-cheesy goods
You don't wear cloaths Mortos wants you to
You don't listen to Mortos when he wants you to
You don't do anything Mortos wants you to

MORTOS' words:
Hurting someone else is just as bad as someone hurting you
Don't tell lies and noone will tell you lies
Don't betray me and I will never betray you
Be good and I will give you a puppy
Be very kind and I will give you a kitty
If you don't eat enough cheese, you will become weak
If you eat too much cheese, you will become fat

Mortos told me to say this. lol!
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Offline DiE HaRrD PuNk

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #48 on: December 24, 2004, 06:51:50 am »
thats not very funny.... -_- i believe in god
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Dragon Of Grief

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #49 on: December 24, 2004, 07:40:32 am »
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lol, that Yolta thing is great. I have a new religion now! :)
All hail the mighty....Mortos!

You will be sent to the place beneith the overworld if:
You hug puppies
You eat a balanced diet of non-cheesy objects and cheesy objects
You drink sodas in puppy stores
You rescue children from tooth decay by eating their candy
You back up your words with material proof
You watch 2 hours of TV a day (includes video games/PC's)
You listen to music Mortos tells you to

You will be condemed to the land of eternal screaming if:
You become friends with idiots
You beleive in anyone else other than Mortos and Yolta (they're friends :D )
You DON'T watch TV for 2 hours a day
You listen to your Maths teachers
You don't back up your words with material proof
Eat a balanced diet of cheesy goods and non-cheesy goods
You don't wear cloaths Mortos wants you to
You don't listen to Mortos when he wants you to
You don't do anything Mortos wants you to

MORTOS' words:
Hurting someone else is just as bad as someone hurting you
Don't tell lies and noone will tell you lies
Don't betray me and I will never betray you
Be good and I will give you a puppy
Be very kind and I will give you a kitty
If you don't eat enough cheese, you will become weak
If you eat too much cheese, you will become fat

Mortos told me to say this. lol!
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Wow. This right here proves it. Any nutcase can make up their own religion.

So what show did this come from? Frasier maybe? Seinfeld? Pfft. Mortos can kiss my grits.
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Offline cmonkey

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #50 on: December 24, 2004, 09:29:40 am »
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Wow. This right here proves it. Any nutcase can make up their own religion.

Yep, you got it.  Now the question is, why do so many follow the nutcases who made up christianity.
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Offline Thomas

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #51 on: December 24, 2004, 10:16:41 am »
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Yep, you got it.  Now the question is, why do so many follow the nutcases who made up christianity.
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Exactly the point...what is there to follow? You could be wasting your life for all you know...for what?
Maybe there is no heaven or ::Dolphin Noise::.
Maybe there is no spirit realm.
Maybe there is no such thing as reencarnation.
Maybe we don't even exist.
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Starr2k3

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #52 on: December 24, 2004, 10:52:40 am »
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thats not very funny.... -_- i believe in god
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If you can't respect someone else's opinion then you have no reason to come in here.
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Offline ssj4gogita4

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #53 on: December 24, 2004, 08:22:01 pm »
I have a question...if ya'll don't think God exists...where did Satan come from? (should that be a new topic?)
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Gideon Brown

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #54 on: December 24, 2004, 09:24:11 pm »
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I have a question...if ya'll don't think God exists...where did Satan come from? (should that be a new topic?)
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Since I don't believe in God, I don't believe in Satan either.  :blink:
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oscar_the_grouch

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #55 on: December 24, 2004, 09:59:04 pm »
i dont beleive in god but i think satan use to be an angel that betrayed god or something. ive gotten preached at a lot LOL... you can only block so much of it out. no offense to anyone but i dont want holy water thrown at my when im walking into my house.

Paige
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Alain2k5

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #56 on: December 24, 2004, 11:32:05 pm »
Alright, God is eternal, he had no beginning nor will have an end, and the bible...  As Starr2k3 said that the bible could be written by someone on crack.... That really ------ me off. God wrote the bible... I bet no one here reads the bible.. Well Some may do.  Do you know what God's name is? Jehovah..  I know what comes up in your mind... The Jehovah's Witnesses..  When they knock at your door don't open rudely and yell at them.. Or whatever you do to them.  They know what they're talking about. They base their religion solely on the bible. They don't have a seperate bible from other religions, they use the bible every Christian religion uses....
« Last Edit: December 25, 2004, 09:44:24 am by Alain2k5 »
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MiraclrPlz

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #57 on: December 25, 2004, 09:16:41 pm »
Sarah, can you tell me what the opposite of faith is?  I can tell you.  The opposite of faith is fear.
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oscar_the_grouch

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #58 on: December 26, 2004, 12:04:01 am »
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Sarah, can you tell me what the opposite of faith is? I can tell you. The opposite of faith is fear.

msp you are wrong. just because we dont beleive doesnt mean we are scared.

Paige
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Gideon Brown

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Where Did God Come From?
« Reply #59 on: December 26, 2004, 07:01:06 am »
The whole 'faith' thing began because of fear...people FEARED God. Which is why Jews never said God's name outloud...because he was a FEAR INSPIRING God.
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