I can now finally show all my SpongeBob episodes... er, I mean fanfics to the public! I have a whole bunch but I'll just post a little at a time... I guess... Okay, here's the first one: (Don't get offended by them... if you do... then... uh... you got issues... like me!)
The following episode... I mean fanfic is rated PG for my weird and annoying sense of humor...
Warning! Very insane story! You may be at risk to lose your sanity! Read at your own risk!
SpongeBob SquarePants Story 1
Scene I
Scene opens up at the Chum Bucket. Plankton gets an attack of the munchies as he goes to the kitchen to get something to eat.
Plankton: Hmm... I wonder if there's any thing to eat around here.
Plankton opens up the refrigerator and to his surprise it's empty. Plankton angrily shuts it and yells...
Plankton: Alright, who ate all the food?!
SpongeBob SquarePants: I did.
Plankton: What?! There's no way you could have eaten that much!
Patrick Star: Boy, he sure did.
Plankton: What the heck are you doing here?! This isn't a dang party! You both get out right now!
SpongeBob: Alright. C'mon Patrick.
Patrick and SpongeBob both leave the scene.
Plankton: Now that's better! (Turns around and sees Patrick and SpongeBob) What the heck?! How did you two get back in here?!
Patrick and SpongeBob both look at each other, smile, and start wiggling their fingers.
Patrick and SpongeBob: It's magic!
Plankton is now furious as he transforms into a huge robot-killing machine and charges up a Bucket Blast.
Plankton: NOW GET OUT NOW! OR ELSE I'LL BLAST YOU OUT!
SpongeBob: Patrick, run! He's really serious! (Patrick and SpongeBob run away)
Plankton: (Laughing) What cowards! Ha-ha-ha!
Plankton goes back to his lab and sees Karen, his computer wife.
Karen: Plankton! Did you scare poor SpongeBob and Patrick away again?
Plankton: I had to, Computer. They ate all the food in the restaurant!
Karen: Then why don't you go to the store and get some more food?
Plankton: What?! Me?! No way! I refuse!
Karen: C'mon Plankton. I'm busy with all the restaurant work at least you can do something for a change.
Plankton: NO!
Karen: (Sounding furious) If you don't then I'll stop obeying your commands!
Plankton: You wouldn't!
Karen: Oh, yes I can! I can stop for months, even years if I have to.
Plankton: Oh.... Alright! Fine! I'll go!
Karen: Thank you Plankton. (Karen shuts down)
Plankton: (Thinking) Dang! I wonder if Krabs has to put up with any of this!
Scene II
Scene opens up with Plankton at the Bargain Mart parking lot.
Plankton: (Thinking) Dang it! How could I just let Karen talk me into doing this! I'm an evil sea creature! No computer can tell me what to do! (Plankton turns to his left) (Thinking) Oh no! It's Krabs! What's he doing here?! Maybe if I walk away he won't notice me.
Eugene H. Krabs: Hey, Plankton!
Plankton: (Thinking) Crud! He noticed me! Hmm.... if I don't respond back to him he won't leave me alone. (Turns towards Mr. Krabs) Hey, Krabs! How ya doing? (Quickly turns away) (Thinking) "How ya doing?" What the heck am I saying?! I've got an image to keep up! (Turns back) Krabs! What are you doing here?!
Mr. Krabs: (Thinking) "How ya doing?" That's the strangest thing that Plankton has ever said to me. Maybe he's on drugs. I should try to convince him that drugs are bad and that he should stop. (Mr. Krabs starts talking slowly and making hand motions so Plankton can understand him) Hello Plankton. How are you today? I am just fine.
Plankton: Krabs you idiot! Why are you talking to me like that?! Do you think that I'm on drugs or something?!
Mr. Krabs: (Still doing the slow talking and hand movements) Right. Now, Plankton, drugs are bad and you should stop using them.
Plankton: KRABS YOU MORON!! WHY THE HECK DO YOU THINK THAT I'M DOING DRUGS?!
Mr. Krabs: (Thinking) He seems to be acting normal now. I guess he's not on drugs.
Plankton: As I was saying, before you thought that I was doing drugs, what are you doing here?
Mr. Krabs: Umm... I had to get more food because Patrick ate it all.
Plankton: Same for me except SpongeBob ate all the food for me.
Mr. Krabs: Say Plankton, how about you and me hang out and go shopping?
Plankton: What?! No way!
Mr. Krabs: C'mon Plankton. It'll be fun.
Plankton: No! I'm only here because Karen forced me to!
Mr. Krabs: (Laughing) What?! An evil sea creature like you is being pushed around by your computer?!
Plankton: Well look who's talking Mister-I'm-the-richest-in-the-sea-but-afraid-of-my-mom!
Mr. Krabs: C'mon Plankton. Are we going in or not?
Plankton: I'm going in alone and if I catch you following me, I'll go Super Robot Mode on your butt.
Scene III
Scene opens up with Mr. Krabs and Plankton in the store. Strange enough, inside the store the food seemed to all be half-eaten or not eaten at all. Some of the counters and money were even eaten and the food was everywhere. Mr. Krabs dropped to his knees from this dreadful sight. Then he picked up what was left of some money as the shreds of the money flowed straight through Mr. Krab's hands and claws and, in a movie like fashion, yelled...
Mr. Krabs: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (We all know how much he loves money)
Plankton: What happened here?
Mr. Krabs: (Crying) I don't know but this is terrible. It must have been the Dirty Bubble!
Plankton: Krabs! The Dirty Bubble is in jail!
Mr. Krabs: Oh... then it must've been ManRay!
Plankton: He's in jail too!
Mr. Krabs: Then the Atomic Flounder! I knew it all along!
Plankton: Are you brain dead?! Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy put him in jail about 17 years ago!
Mr. Krabs: Oh... then let's go see Squidward. Maybe he can help us out.
Plankton: When I get a hold of this guy I'm gonna make him wish that he never did this! If I don't get the food soon, then Karen will never obey me ever again.
Mr. Krabs: What? Obey you?
Plankton: Shut up Krabs! Mind your own business!
Scene IV
Scene opens up at Squidward's house.
Mr. Krabs: Hey Squidward!
Squidward: Oh... Mr. Krabs… What are you doing here?
Mr. Krabs: Plankton and I went to the store and everything was destroyed. I thought it was The Dirty Bubble, ManRay, or The Atomic Flounder that did it but Plankton said no. C'mon Squidward, tell Plankton that I'm right.
Squidward: .........
Plankton: ...........
Mr. Krabs: Why is everyone so silent?
Squidward: Uh... Mr. Krabs... Plankton is right... The Dirty Bubble, The Atomic Flounder, and ManRay are all in jail… The Dirty Bubble and ManRay may have come back twice already but I doubt they'll ever come back again.
The Dirty Bubble enters the scene for no apparent reason.
The Dirty Bubble: That's what you think! (Starts doing disco)
SpongeTron enters the scene and cuts Frieza in half.
SpongeTron: Disco is dead! And so are you!
SpongeTron runs away while doing a boy band dance and finishing with the Matrix.
Mr. Krabs: What was that?!
Squidward: Uh... Maybe we should ignore that... Anyways I saw on the news that this type of thing is happening all over the world!
Mr. Krabs and Plankton: WHAT?!
Squidward: We will probably need the others until we know what we're up against... So let's go get Squilliam first.
Scene V
Scene opens up at Squilliam's house.
Mr. Krabs: What the?!
Plankton: Most of it is destroyed!
Squidward: We better check if Squilliam is okay!
The three sea creatures went into the house and see that the furniture is trashed and the refrigerator door is missing (the food was also gone of course). Then something came out of the rubble. It was Squilliam and he was... naked? Plankton picked up some clothes off the floor and tossed it to him. Squilliam put them on.
Mr. Krabs: What happened?
Squilliam: Well, something came into my house and it moved too fast for me to see. First it ate my furniture, then my clothes, and then... MY UNI-BROW!
Everyone took a closer look and saw Squilliam's uni-brow was missing.
Plankton: By the looks of things I would have guessed that your fancy wife did this to you!
Squilliam: (Glaring at Plankton) Squiancy and Squiemily are out. I was just sitting here watching the news about something eating everything in the world. Just my luck that it comes to my house.
Voice from afar: NOOOOOOOO! DON'T EAT THAT! AAAAAAAH!
Squilliam: That sounded like Larry! Quick! Let's get to Goo Lagoon!
Scene VI
Scene opens up at Goo Lagoon
Squilliam: Larry! Are you.... okay?
Larry: DO I LOOK LIKE I'M OKAY?! THAT CREATURE ATE ALL MY BABES THAT I WAS ABOUT TO DATE!!
Everyone else: ..........
Mr. Krabs: Uh... what did it look like?
Larry: Let's see... It was fast, fat, and wearing the strangest clothes I've ever seen.
Mr. Krabs: Oh my gosh! It's Mermaid Man!
Squilliam:.......
Larry:..........
Plankton:..........
Squidward: Mr. Krabs...
Mr. Krabs: (Ignoring Squidward) Let's see... by fast you mean incredibly slow (By our standards), by fat you mean huge, and by strange clothes you mean strange clothes... Oh my gosh! It's Bubble Bass!
Plankton: Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha!
Squidward: Oh gosh...
Squilliam: Wow! When did Mr. Krabs get this much of a memory loss?
Squidward: C'mon. Let's call the others to meet us here. I'll go get Scooter.
A while later...
Patchy: Hey Squidward! Did anything interesting happen at Mussel Beach?
Squidward: No, not much. Other then Don the whale running around in his underwear shouting "I am Super-fish! Whoosh!" Oh yeah! Tom says hi and called me his "Special little friend." Do any of you know what he meant?
Potty: Well... uh....
Scooter: Ah-h-h-hlright! Now if we’re going to find this thing we’re going to hah-h-h-hve to probably wah-h-h-htch the news to get a clue on its whereah-h-h-hbouts, dude!
Mr. Krabs: Scooter. We already know who it is! It's Bubble Bass!
Plankton: Krabs! That was funny the first time but now it's just stupid.
Mr. Krabs: What's not funny?
Plankton: ....Never mind....
Larry: Oh, I know this answer! C! Babes! Final answer!
Everyone looks at the TV and sees the show "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"
Meredith: Oh, I'm sorry the answer was Babes.
Larry: See! I told you!
Scooter: I'm not even going to ah-h-h-hsk how you knew thah-h-h-ht, dude!
Larry: Well... when you're a hot lifeguard expert like me you know these things.
Squilliam: That's kind of sad.
Plankton: Turn off this crap and turn it to the news!
Meredith: Now for the fastest finger question... What the heck is that thing? (Camera goes out) What the?! He’s eating everything! Hey! Get away from me! AH! MY EYES! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!
Scooter: Well, I guess thah-h-h-ht's our cue, dude!
Scene VII
Scene opens up at New York.
Scooter: Stop right there, you... No wah-h-h-hy, dude!
Plankton: Impossible!
Squidward: What the?!
Mr. Krabs: ...That doesn't look like Bubble Bass!
The creature turns around and it's... PATRICK SQUAREPANTS (This time it's the real thing: SpongeBob and Patrick combined)! Patrick SquarePants looks at the sea creatures with Meredith's leg sticking out of his mouth. He smiles and sucks it in like spaghetti.
Plankton: You! You're the one behind this?!
Patrick SquarePants: Heh-heh-heh! Yup!
Plankton: Star! SquarePants! De-combine right now!
Patrick SquarePants: Patrick and SpongeBob no longer have control over me! I knew that when they combined correctly I would never exist again. So I waited, waited for the moment when they messed up again. That moment has finally come and I refuse to de-combine! They will stay like this... FOREVER! HA-HA-HA! And I'm also going to eat this ocean and then... THE WORLD! HA-HA-HA!
Plankton: I'm giving you one last chance before I kick your butt!
Patrick SquarePants: (Gives Plankton a double birdie) (Bleep!) you butt-crack!
Plankton: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU LITTLE MORON?!
Plankton explodes into Ultimate Super Robot Mode and fires a Bucket Blast attack. Then he fires hundreds of blasts at him.
Mr. Krabs: Plankton...
Plankton: Krabs, they deserved that...
When the smoke cleared, Patrick SquarePants doesn't have a scratch on him.
Patrick SquarePants: (Laughing) Did you think you could beat me? I'm far more powerful than all of you! (goes Robot Mode x3) I've found the secret to this power. I can stay in it as long as I want and I won't lose any power!
Plankton: CRUD! Now we'll never beat him!
Mr. Krabs: Yes we can! We must form Eugene Plankton to beat him!
Plankton: What?! No way!
Mr. Krabs: C'mon Plankton! It's the only hope for the world!
Plankton: .........Oh, alright!
Mr. Krabs: Thanks Plankton.
Mr. Krabs and Plankton combine into Eugene Plankton and go Ultimate Super Robot Mode.
Eugene Plankton: Now you little punk! I'm going to send you to Davy Jones' locker!
Patrick SquarePants: We'll see about that!
Eugene Plankton rushes towards Patrick SquarePants, grabs his shirt, and gets ready to punch him. Patrick SquarePants just smiles at him.
Eugene Plankton: Can't...hit...him...he's...too...FAT!
Out of frustration, Eugene Plankton goes Robot Mode x3 and slams his fist into Patrick SquarePants. Eugene Plankton starts to slam Patrick SquarePants everywhere in the studio. Patrick SquarePants shoots a couple of blasts at Eugene Plankton. Eugene Plankton deflects all of the blasts and Patrick SquarePants gets behind him and hits Eugene Plankton to the ground.
Eugene Plankton: I gotta admit. You're pretty tough for a little fat moron.
Patrick SquarePants: Heh-heh... Maybe now I'll show you my ultimate attack! (Patrick SquarePants turns around and bends down) Silent, but deadly SUPER ULTRA MEGA FART ATTACK!
Eugene Plankton was confused that nothing seemed to happen. For no apparent reason Eugene Plankton moved out of the way where the fart-beam would have hit. A couple seconds after he moved, the wall behind where he was exploded. And beyond that wall, several islands and mountains exploded as well.
Eugene Plankton: What the heck was that?!
Patrick SquarePants: Do you still feel like a big man now? You can never defeat me!
And with that Patrick SquarePants starts to hit Eugene Plankton everywhere, beating the heck out of him. After a huge beating, Eugene Plankton falls to the ground and de-combines.
Plankton: Crud! How did he get this strong?!
Mr. Krabs: I guess the writer has a strange sense of humor.
Patrick SquarePants: Alright! Who's next?
Scooter and Squilliam step up and combine into Scooter Fancyson!
Patrick SquarePants: So you're next? Fine.
Squidward: And so am I! (Goes Super Squid)
Patrick SquarePants: Two against one? That's not fair! But it won't do ya any good! I'm stronger than both of you!
Squidward and Scooter Fancyson charge towards Patrick SquarePants as he starts to fire a lot of blasts. Squidward and Scooter Fancyson split up. Squidward elbows Patrick SquarePants in the back and Scooter Fancyson hits him up into the air and Squidward kicks him down to the ground where he crashes. Patrick SquarePants gets up and wipes the blood from his mouth and smiles.
Patrick SquarePants: Hmm...Is that is? Alright time to get serious!
Patrick SquarePants charges at Scooter Fancyson and Squidward and kicks both of them in the back of their heads. Scooter Fancyson gets behind Patrick SquarePants while Squidward gets in front as they try hitting Patrick SquarePants. Patrick SquarePants dodges all the punches and kicks, grabs both of their heads, and hits them together. Then Patrick SquarePants grabs Scooter Fancyson's leg and throws him into Squidward. As they both fall to the ground, Patrick SquarePants flies below them and holds out his hands as each of their backs hit his hands and Patrick SquarePants unleashes two huge blasts from his hands. Scooter Fancyson and Squidward hit a wall and slowly get back up, ready for round 2.
Patchy: Wow! This fight is intense!
Potty: No doubt...
Patchy: Is that all you ever say about these fights? "No doubt"?
Potty: No...I say plenty of things!
Fred: Yay! I finally get to say something!
Patchy: How come we never win any fights and always get our butts kicked?
Potty: I don't know. Maybe because we're not as cool or great as the sea creatures.
Patchy: Well, at least we get paid a lot.
Potty: Oh yeah? How much do you get?
Patchy: $10,000. And you?
Potty: ...........
Patchy: You're hiding something.
Potty: (Smiling) No I'm not!
Patchy: Yes you are! You're getting paid more than me?!
Potty: Well...uh...
Patchy: It's true! You are!
Potty: Hey! Listen, Fred gets paid a lot more than the both of us combined!
Patchy: WHAT?! But how?! He rarely ever appears!
Fred: It depends on how much they want you, pirate!
Patchy: How much does he get paid?
Potty: .....5,000,000........
Patchy: WHAT?! PER EPISODE?!
Potty: .....Per scene........
Patchy: WHAT?!
Meanwhile during that conversation, some unimportant flights took place and now back to the action.
Scooter: This is bah-h-h-hd! He's too strong, dude! (Oh yeah! Scooter Fancyson de-combined)
Squidward: Yeah! Real bad!
Squilliam: Aw, man! How are we going to beat him now?
Scooter: We don't. We just need to stah-h-h-hll him a little longer until Mr. Krabs ah-h-h-hnd Plankton cah-h-h-hn combine agah-h-h-hin, dude!
Squilliam: But last time they tried that they lost.
Scooter: I know. But mah-h-h-hybe they cah-h-h-hn think of something.
Scooter, Squidward, and Squilliam start to stall Patrick SquarePants.
Plankton: The hour is up. We must combine again.
Mr. Krabs: Right! But this time don't close your eyes when we combine so it'll be an incorrect combination.
Plankton: What?!
Mr. Krabs: If we form Plankton Krabs, who is fatter, we just might beat him.
Plankton: You're crazy!
Mr. Krabs: Let's at least try!
Plankton: .......I don't know why I'm doing this.
Mr. Krabs: Alright! Let's do it!
Mr. Krabs and Plankton form into Plankton Krabs.
Squidward: Oh no...
Squilliam: They combined wrong!
Scooter: This might be pah-h-h-hrt of their plah-h-h-hn.
Patrick SquarePants: Well, well, well, what do we have here?
Plankton Krabs: I'm fat and chubby! Chubby, chubby, chubby!
Everyone: ........
Patrick SquarePants: Right....Now you gonna fight?
Plankton Krabs: Yup! Bring it tubby! (Goes Robot Mode x3)
Patrick SquarePants and Plankton Krabs start to have a sumo fight. Pretty soon Patrick Squarepants flies away.
Patrick SquarePants: ENOUGH! Now time to finish you! (Turns around and bends down) Silent, but deadly...
Plankton Krabs: (Turns around and bends down) Silent, but deadly...
Patrick SquarePants and Plankton Krabs: SUPER ULTRA MEGA FART ATTACK!
The two fart beams hit and a crater appears around Patrick SquarePants and Plankton Krabs. Both sea creatures are using all of their power to win. (Yeah, using all their power. Imagine what that looks like )
Scooter: .....This hah-h-h-hs got to be the most disturbing thing thah-h-h-ht I've ever seen, dude!
Squilliam: Yeah.
Patchy: Man! IT STINKS IN HERE!!
Squilliam: Just one more reason why I wish that I didn't have a big nose.
Just when everyone thought that things couldn't get any worse, Sandy drove up to the studio and came in.
Plankton Krabs: Sandy Cheeks? What are you doing here?
Sandy: Here, these are for y'all! (Tosses a small bag towards Plankton Krabs)
Plankton Krabs: Nuts?
Sandy: Nope! My acorns! My own special recipe! These are incredibly powerful so you should only eat one… (Plankton Krabs scarfs down the whole bag) YOU IDIOT! ONE WAS AN ASSURED VICTORY BUT Y'ALL ATE THE WHOLE BAG! YOU'LL KILL US ALL!!
Plankton Krabs: Hmm...I don't feel any different...(Stomach growls)
Sandy: (Quickly turns to the others) EVERYONE! GET DOWN! HE'S GONNA BLOW!!!
Everyone gets down and Plankton Krabs unleashes the mother of all farts and the back part of his pants blows off. The studio explodes and a crater 50 miles wide appears where the studio was.
Patrick SquarePants: Can't...hold...on...his...fart...is...too...STROOOOONG!!
Patrick SquarePants gets hit by the fart-beam and falls down. Patrick SquarePants and Plankton Krabs de-combine. Patrick and SpongeBob wake up.
Patrick: Where are we?...Eww! SpongeBob! You're all stinky!
SpongeBob: I wouldn't be talking!
Patrick: Mr. Krabs, what happened?
Mr. Krabs: Well Patrick, let's just say we all had a blast! (Starts laughing)
Everyone: ........
Mr. Krabs: (Slowly stops laughing)
Out of the sky a camera falls down and hits Squilliam on the head.
Everyone but Squilliam: (Laughing)
The End
Episode... darn, I mean FANFIC #2 coming soon...
-SS4Gohan
